Little Defenses
by softballtitan009
Summary: “Pure terror...” she paused, “is standing at the end of that corridor.”
1. SkyDiving With No Parachute

Little Defenses

Please please please please please please please REVIEW! Just read. First song-fic. I worked hard to find a good song for this. Robin/Raven…… DUR! As all my stories are….. First chapter's a song-fic. Hope you recognize it. Jk. You probably won't…. This is dedicated to theLilyLady who inspired so many things in this story with hers, named "matchmakers". Oh, and Starfire may be acting like a little bit of a bitch in this story, but it's supposed to be like that. Sorry….

Song: So Unsexy

Artist: Alanis Morrisette

_**Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly,  
one small sideways look and I feel so ungood…**_

'_She is so perfect,'_ thought Raven. Starfire was telling Beast Boy a story about what happened when she was five and her sister, Blackfire, tried to make her trip into a bucket of purple paint.

'_No wonder Robin loves her…'_

Robin never knew, because Raven never told him. Her interest in him grew every time she saw him. It was something she'd begun to control. Something she was forced to control. But, he'd been ignoring her lately. She turned the page of the Book of Azar, which she was re-reading.

"Hey."

She jumped. A crash was heard from behind a cabinet door.

"Oops. Sorry…"

"Please," she asked Robin, who was grinning, "don't do that again. I was concentrating."

"Sure…" he said. He sat down beside her. "What are you reading?" he asked.

She could literally _feel_ the heat from his toned muscles. She shivered.

"Cold?"

"Never."

_**Somewhere along the way I think,**_

_**I gave you the power to make,  
me feel the way I thought only my father could…**_

She went back to her book. Convinced that he had nothing important to say, but was still glad to have him in her presence. He leaned closer, observing her book.

"You can read this?" he asked, pointing to some of the symbols.

"Yes," she said, "and 147 other dead languages. They are not difficult." She turned the page again.

"Maybe you can teach me sometime," he said.

"Maybe…"

_'Gladly,'_ she thought.

Starfire came bounding over and sat on the couch next to Robin with a bounce.

"Hello, Friend Raven! I see that you are reading the Book of Azar for the 34th time!"

"I wasn't keeping count," she said and flipped another page.

"Star," said Robin, "I think she's trying to concentrate. Do you want to go out to the garden? I saw Cyborg planting snapdragons (A/N: That's for you Serena4!) the other day."

"Yes! I would gladly accompany you!"

_'She knows what she's doing…'_ thought Raven, _'She knows that she's taking him away…'_

**_Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me.  
One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked.  
How these little abandonment's seem to sting so easily,  
I'm thirteen again am I thirteen for good…?_**

Raven didn't know how to interpret this. Was it out of respect? Or did he just want to spend time with the Tamaranian? She chose the first one so her mind could be at peace, but the second theory kept running circles around her emotions and she was forced to meditate on the roof.

**_I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful,  
so unloved for someone so fine_…**

_'How come he doesn't notice me like he does her?' _she thought, irritated. '_I'm every bit as fascinating as her…'_ She knew she was lying to herself. But, she had to make herself feel better somehow. And what better way then to lie to yourself? She wouldn't have to worry about breaking promises if she made them in her head and to her emotions. She needed to keep her multi-faced identity in check somehow…

_**I can feel so boring for someone so interesting,  
so ignorant for someone of sound mind…**_

"I need my roses," she thought out loud and gracefully landed on the roof. She went to the edge turned around so her heels were still on the edge…and did a perfect, backwards swan dive off the Tower. She let herself fall and fall. Robin saw her falling from the garden.

"Raven!"

Starfire whirled around and screamed. But, she merely gasped when Raven gracefully slowed down, righting herself and landed without a scratch on the soft soil. Robin and Starfire ran over to her.

"What was that?!" yelled Robin, obviously close to suffering a heart attack, "What was _that_?!?!?!"

"I wanted to see my roses," replied Raven as she glided over to her beautiful flowers, the duo in hot pursuit.

"But, Raven! What has caused you to act so…so…"

"So _what_?" she said in a deadly whisper.

"Irrational!"

Raven turned towards the red-haired girl, utterly jealous and irritated with her.

"I needed to live a little," she said, "Calm down, Starfire."

But the Tamaranian kept whining and whining.

"Do you know what could have happened? What if you had lost consciousness from the fall? You would not have survived! I think you need to realize—"

"Star," Robin said, seeing Raven shaking, "Just let her go. She needs to think…"

_'How did you know?'_ she thought, _'How can you possibly know me so well, when you have spent so little time with me?'_

**_Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me,  
one forgotten phone call and I'm deflated…_**

Starfire walked away, back to the snapdragons, but kept a close eye on Raven as if she would suddenly burst into flames.

"Hey," Robin said. She melted.

"You sure you're okay? I mean, that was pretty spontaneous. Anything you want to talk about?"

_'Yes, Robin. That I love you and you make me feel like no one has ever been able to. Oh, and by the way, I think it would be best if you didn't hang around with Starfire anymore,'_ she thought.

"No."

"Alright," he said, putting his hand on her shoulder, "But, I'm always here if you want to talk."

"Thank you," she said, willing the glove imprint to stay on her cloak forever. She heard him scuffle away and Starfire's voice in a mild whisper, asking what Raven had said. She felt her annoyance trying to surface, but shoved it back into the dark corners of her mind.

"Thank you, Robin," she said to herself, pruning her black roses, "Thank you."

**_Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me,  
your hand pulling away and I'm devastated…_**

Raven walked into dinner that night only to be welcomed by staring. She turned to make tea, not wanting to face her teammates. But, when the drink was finished, she turned around again and saw their hard faces looking at her like she was a freak. She stopped before she reached the table, not wanting to get closer to them. She gave each of them a cold look before asking, "What?" She was glad her hood was up.

And then Robin came in the room and saw the scene.

"Hey, guys. What's for dinner?"

"Pasta," said Cyborg, not taking his eyes off Raven.

"Uhhh…yum…I guess." He walked over and took a big bowl, spooning heaping helpings onto the plate. He looked up again and stopped mid-"scoop".

"What's going on?" asked the leader, apparently catching on to what was happening.

"Nothing, Robin," replied the violet haired beauty. She sat at a different table, everyone's eyes still on her.

But, Robin didn't buy it.

_**When will you stop leaving baby?  
When will I stop deserting baby?  
When will I start staying with myself?**_

"Guy's as leader of this team, I demand a response to what is going on," he said.

"It is of no importance, Robin," said Starfire smugly, "We have saved you a seat over here. Come and join us." She patted a seat next to her.

Robin obeyed. And Raven almost cried.

_'Starfire,'_ thought Raven, _'How dare you turn them away from me…. Especially…………Robin……'_

She told the boys about Raven's little sky-dive episode today and twisted the story vigorously. Of course they didn't hate or disdain her for it, but they certainly held some contempt at her sudden outburst.

**_Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me.  
I jump my ship as I take it personally.  
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly.  
The moment I decide not to abandon me…_**

**_I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful,  
So unloved for someone so fine…  
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting,  
So ignorant for someone of sound mind…_**

Robin saw her face and picked up his pasta. He walked over and sat next to Raven. She looked up and he was shocked to see tears running down her face. But, the thing that shook him was the look in her eyes. The amethyst orbs were wounded and full of hurt. They drilled their beauty and passionate emotions into him, making him feel what she had today. She stood-up and teleported into the ceiling. Robin shot a hateful glance at all of them. Starfire just looked at him innocently.

Titan009- Okay…..more chapters? Or not…….please REVIEW!**_  
_**


	2. Running a Car on Water

Little Defenses

Okay, here's you're next chapter! Please forgive me for not updating my other stories. The fact is, that their not doing so well, and that I'm writing my book at the current time. I'll tell you guys if it gets published…..well….Here ya go! This isn't a song-chapter…..

**Raven's Rage**- Thank you…..thank you…..waves to crowd

**Raven-Fieryback**- Don't cry! It'll get better, I promise! I didn't know my writing could strike such joy and sadness in people…..

**Febreese**- Okay, OKAY already! I'm writing it now! In fact, I already have almost half the chapter done, I just thought I'd do review replies and jumped back up here!

**blackmoon36**- Oh yeah, angst and romance are my two favorite categories to write. Even _if_ I write mostly action and adventure….

**nevermoretheraven**- I hope it doesn't take me long to update either…..If you're looking for Rob/Raes, go to my favorites (you will NOT find Rob/Star _there_….) or the C2 communities. That should satisfy you're taste!

**LillyMaxwell**- Thank you! I plan on doing more. Just keep on reading!

**Rose Gamgee**- Alanis Morissette is a genius, I know….

**gothic ghost**- And I wait for you to review!

**A READER**- I don't actually plan on killing Starfire. I think people would start hating me if I did that…..sorry. But I will update.

**Shadow Kitsune Kirby**- I love your name! Don't hurt yourself! I will continue!

**Isea**- I really like your anonymous name. It's really cool. Of course!

**Shadow the Dark God**- I am so doing more chapters….I love romance angst too! It's so awesome!

**ttitansnbs**- I just hope people keep reviewing!

**heart of flame**- OMG! I can't believe you read this! I admire your work so much! Greatly appreciated review! Yes, it was unresolved at the ending, which is why I am choosing to write more.

**DITZY**- You really seem to like this. Since you were so nice…..Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's your next chapter! (you know….from Johnny Carson?)

**The Dark Enigma**- The _first_ reviewer! confetti falls and party noise-makers go off **_CONGRATULATIONS!_** Thank you! I did my best…

That took a LONG TIME!

* * *

Chapter-Two

* * *

Running a Car on Water

* * *

'What is happening to me?' thought Raven, 'I have not done anything to deserve love. Especially love from someone who does not love me in return.'

"How do you know that?" said a raspy voice from behind her.

Raven whirled around, only to be facing herself.

"Hello, Desire," she said, addressing her emotion that wore a deep red cloak. She was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed. Her dark maroon eyes gave her an exotic look that Raven never had. As little as a difference that it was, it made them look completely different. With Raven's amethyst eyes, she had always achieved a fragile and fair demeanor.

"Hello, Raven."

There was a silence in between them, but not a tense one. These two spent a lot of time with each other. Since Raven had never felt desire before, except for Aqualad, but that was only a small infatuation that died down over time, she needed to consult once and while with the emotions that she didn't feel as often. Anger, Pessimism, Fright and Happy were with her all the time and were considerably general emotions, but she hardly ever felt Jealousy, Love, Hatred or Desire, and Lust was out of the question.

"You know," said Desire, "word's goin' around down in Nevermore that you've found an object that is worth your affection."

"Yes," replied Raven, "But, I am not worth his."

"Sweet, Raven," said Desire, "He has not realized his luck yet. The more time you spend with him, the more he will see in you."

"But, I cannot deal with Starfire. And she is constantly shadowing him."

"Satisfaction is positively delighted you know," Desire said, examining her nails, "She figures she'll get her turn soon enough. But, she is becoming angered with Jealousy. We miss you, Raven." She looked into Raven's amethyst eyes. "We need you to feel us more. Many emotions are locking themselves away because you have not released them."

"You know damn well that I can't do that. If you lot cared about me at all, then you would respect the position that I'm in."

"I did not come here to fight, Raven. We make up who you are, and if your personality is not released once and a while, then we get restless. Eventually, the tension in Nevermore will force you to feel something."

"What happens then?"

"You know."

Raven didn't reply.

"Why are you here?" she said instead.

"To consult you in a matter that has become a serious problem."

"Go on."

Desire sighed. "You're father visited the other went ballistic. Right in his face too."

"Big surprise there," said Raven, rolling her eyes.

"He wounded her very badly and we can't get her out of unconsciousness. Until we do, you need to be brave on your own. And I know that is asking a lot, but…."

"I don't think I can do that. I've been very weak lately. I really can hardly muster the energy to get up in the morning. Daily tasks that I have done without stress before have become almost impossible to accomplish."

Desire walked over to Raven and hugged her. Raven held her back.

"You are cold," said Desire.

"I'm scared."

"Do not be afraid to love him," whispered Desire in her ear, "I will protect you from being hurt."

"That, my dear, is too late." Her knees crumpled and her loving emotion supported her to her bed. She laid Raven down and kneeled beside her. Raven turned her violet orbs, which were losing their shine, towards her.

"I'm so scared that I will fail," she said weakly.

"Raven, with us beside you. You will never fail." She put the covers over the exhausted Azranian. "I will be back to check up on you."

"You know," said Raven as she drifted off into the void of her mind, "You were always my favorite emotion."

"That is because desire never hurts, my dear."

"Don't tell the others."

"I won't."

"Promise?" she whispered with her last cognizant breath.

"I promise."

* * *

When Raven's eyes fluttered open the next morning, the only thing she hoped for was another visit from Desire. But, alas, as we all must, she raised herself and put her feet on the ground. She found this a less difficult task than yesterday's had been. Her visit with Desire had given her hope, an emotion that was probably bouncing up and down from being released.

"You're welcome," she said and sensed gratitude coming from somewhere inside her. She shuffled over to the bathroom door and invigorated herself with a hot shower.

She was putting her cape back on when a small knock came from her door. She walked over and it whooshed open to reveal Robin. A small figurine on the other side of the room exploded, but it went unnoticed by the boy standing in her door.

_'Thank you,'_ she thought mentally.

"Yes?" she asked, wanting him to talk. He was staring at her with pity and she suddenly felt Annoyance doing jumping-jacks inside her.

"Can I….Can I come in?" he asked. She stepped aside and brushed away the broken fragments of the small, destroyed figure under her bed with her powers.

There was a pause between them as the door whooshed shut again.

"You certainly keep your room clean," he said. He was trying to fill the air with small talk, but it was as effective as running a car on water. It just doesn't work.

"Can I help you?" she said ostentatiously.

"Okay, I'm just going to come out and ask you. What happened last night?"

"I overreacted," she lied, "It's no big deal."

"No, Raven. You didn't overreact. Star did. She was obviously scared for you."

Sometimes someone says something so stupid that you can't help but be surprised by the lack of understanding they possess. It happens when you are watching movies; it happens when you are fighting with your significant other, it happens all the time. But in fact, Robin had the story so twisted here, that Raven almost burst out laughing right in front of him, but saved herself the humiliation and kept her famous poker-face intact.

She blinked. "Scared?"

"Yes," he said awkwardly.

"Tell me, Robin. Have you ever truly been scared?"

"Of course," he shrugged, "everyone has. Remember when Slade tried to recruit me?"

_'How could I forget?'_ she whispered mentally.

"And remember when Beast Boy got the chemicals spilt on him and he went out of control and tried to hurt you?" he said, then immediately blushed.

_'He does care about me,'_ she thought.

"But, tell me, have you ever experienced true terror?"

He didn't answer.

"Ever been to Nevermore?"

He shook his head.

"Would you like to?"

"Where is that?"

"My mind." She walked over and got the mirror but kept it face down. Robin looked at it nervously. It looked intimidating with the two horns sticking out of the top and it's worn, silver handle. She stared at him.

"Sure," he said.

"Don't move," she said and flipped the mirror, looking directly in it. Suddenly, the glowing pairs of eyes materialized and Robin was struck with horror.

"Don't be scared. Those are the least of you're worries…" she said as the giant hand pulled them into the treacherous mind of Raven.

* * *

PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks! 


	3. Flying Without Wings

Desire sighed. "You're father visited the other went ballistic. Right in his face too."

ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO BE…..

Desire sighed. "You're father visited the other day. Courage went ballistic. Right in his face too."

He-he. My mistake, sorry about that. "This is called FILL IN THE BLANKS KIDS!" Not. Here's your next chapter. I'm so nervous because my dad just left for this meeting to see if he would keep his job which he's had for like 25 years and I'm SO nervous! So if he loses it, I might not post for a while. If he keeps it, I'll post very soon out of celebration! So here's your next chapter. Enjoy and Review. Can't have one without the other…..

Chapter-Three

Flying Without Wings

* * *

"Is this…"

"Nevermore." Raven gestured to the vast, void and dark universe that loomed before them, being filled only by the rocks that were keeping them from falling forever.

"It's……incredible!" Robin exclaimed.

"It's empty."

"But it's amazing." He smiled at her then looked all around him.

"Why is it like this?" he asked.

"Because I can't feel anything. No emotions, therefore, no substance."

"What happens if you do feel something?"

"I've never been here to see it," she said, "But I imagine that it would be…"

"Catastrophic?"

"Shut up," she said, feeling a little annoyed.

"Just kidding…." he said, chuckling.

"It would manifest something out of nothing, always a tricky thing to do. For instance, if I got angry at something, then that thing would blow up in reality, but in here…It would appear out of thin air."

"You must have a lot of shattered windows lying around then…"

She glared at him.

"He-he, sorry."

"Ready to go?"

"Go wh—"

She turned and rocks materialized in front of them, creating a pathway that was so long they couldn't see the end of it.

"Well then," she said, "Guests first."

Robin started walking, but she caught up beside him.

"Has anyone ever seen this place?" he asked eventually.

"Cyborg and Beast Boy have been here….But I had to come and get them."

"What were they doing in here?"

"They snuck in my room and messed with my stuff. Not exactly a forgivable sin if you know what I mean. According to Beast Boy's story, they were just innocently walking around when a 'giant, black hand glowing red'" she accentuated by adding quote marks with her fingers, "grabbed them both and pulled them in. But, I know for a fact that Cyborg had to practically drag him out of the mirror after he was stupid and looked in it. They met some of my emotions inside. Much like what you are about to experience."

"Which emotions?"

"Whichever ones I want."

"Can I see Happy?"

"That's kind of a general one…don't you think?"

"Well, I've never seen you really happy, so I want to know what it's like."

"True…."

"What about Courage."

"I don't think that's possible," she said quickly.

"Why not?"

"It just isn't."

He dropped the subject.

"So, do you always walk? Why don't you just fly?"

"The whole point of being here is to meditate and find your inner tranquility. I supposed if I wanted to, then I could fly. But, the whole trip would be in vain."

"Interesting," he said.

'_I should have known he would ask a lot of questions,'_ she thought, _'However, I brought him here….so I _should_ answer them I suppose.'_

"So, do the laws of physics and stuff work in here like they do in reality?"

"Newton's second law seems to have a bit of a problem. You know, force equals—"

"—mass times acceleration," he finished, "Yeah, I know that one. Whoa….."

They passed through the archway leading into her inner Happy. Hills were covered with yellow and pink flowers and strawberries floated through the air. Bluebirds chirped through the pastel colored sky and beautiful green trees.

"Okay…"

"Don't sweat it. This is where Happy lives."

"So do I get to meet her?" he asked, no sooner were the words out of his mouth when the bright pink cloaked Raven bounced to her dark master's side. Happy giggled.

"Hey, Robin!" she said cheerfully.

"Ummm…"

"Robin, Happy. Happy, Robin."

"He doesn't look to happy to me!" she exclaimed, bouncing on her heels. She giggled again, covering her mouth with her hands.

"He's never been here before, Hap," whispered Raven.

"It's—uhhh….it's—uhhh a ple—pleasure," he said stuttering and holding out his hand.

Happy grabbed it and shook it eagerly, almost pulling his arm off.

"It is _so_ nice to meet you! You are the _only_ Titan that I haven't met yet! I don't get out much either so it's great to have someone to talk to that isn't Raven—"

Robin looked at Raven with raised eyebrows. Raven grinned and Happy kept on talking.

"—I mean, I only get exposed when she smiles and that's hardly ever!"

"I know what you mean…" said Robin still holding on to her hand that was shaking his violently.

"Err, Hap? Why don't you let go of his hand. He's going to need that later on."

She giggled. "Sorry…" she said, but it was obvious she wasn't.

"Besides, we need to move on."

"Where ya going next?" Happy asked.

"We need to see Misery."

"Oh! That pig! Uh, she never picks up after herself! You should _see_ her room!"

"We'll come back later," said Raven. "Not," she said quietly as they walked away. Robin chuckled behind her.

"Okay, I know why you didn't want me to see her."

"Exactly."

They passed through another archway into a graveyard scene.

"Let me guess," said Robin.

"Misery!" yelled Raven.

"What is it now?" asked someone from behind them. They turned around.

"Oh, Raven….why did you bring _him_ here?" Misery stood in front of them. Her cloak was a disgusting cross between gray and green and her hood was down, revealing her eyes that matched her cloak.

"I asked him here. He's my guest."

"Well, good luck trying to—" she sniffed, "get him through the maze."

"I know it by memory," said Raven, "It's not that big of a deal."

"But you _know_ how we are about privacy…"

"I'm sure you'll get over it."

"I never get over these things Raven. Why do you think my name is Misery? And where are your manners? Sometimes you are just so—"

"Robin, meet Misery," introduced Raven before Misery could finish.

"Pleasure," said Robin, holding out his hand.

"Whatever," sniffed Misery and shook his hand. He noticed her eyes were bloodshot and she looked like she had just stopped crying before they arrived.

"How've…things….been?" he asked awkwardly.

Misery sighed. "Perfectly terrible. You know, living in a grave yard isn't exactly all fun and games. Sometimes the dead decide to wake up and then you have to deal with zombies running around. And Raven never visits anymore—"

Raven gave Misery a look that shut her up. She didn't need Robin knowing that she hardly came here to meditate anymore.

"Well, I'm sorry things have been so miserable for you, Misery," said Raven sharply. "But, I don't think that we can stay. After all, I have _so_ much to catch up on..."

"B-bye!" Robin tried to say, but Raven had already pulled him through the exit.

"Sometimes she can be so—"

"Miserable?" asked Robin, cutting her off and smiling. Raven grinned back. They stood there for a second, smiling at each other.

"Yes," Raven finally answered, chuckling. Just as Robin was about to say something, a wall, nearly three feet thick, burst out of the ground right next to Raven. Robin almost lunged to save her but she seemed pretty calm.

"Wha—"

Another wall appeared behind him…. then another and another. Soon they were surrounded in a gray prison. Raven was looking at him with a strange expression.

"This is when you need to be alert," she warned as the final, massive wall rose behind them, cutting off the entrance.

"What _is_ this?"

"A labyrinth….Inside this maze, all my nightmares converge. I hid them all in here so they could not escape. But, you cannot lock away your fears forever. So, whenever I journey into Nevermore, I must confront them."

"So….all of _your_ nightmares are in _here_? With _us_?" he asked, terrified.

"Exactly."

"Ex—excuse me," said a small voice.

"Hello, Timid," said Raven. "Come join us for a minute. I was just explaining—"

"Oh, _Raven_! Why did you bring him _here_?" asked Timid in horror as she walked over.

"Calm down."

"Yes. Yes I'm sorry."

"He is our guest. Robin, this is Timid."

Timid's eyes widened when she saw the unfamiliar Titan.

"Pleasure," he said, holding out his hand for the third time.

She just looked at it warily. He drew it back, but as he was doing this, she stuck her hand out and put it in his. She grasped it very lightly and shook it once, then drew her hand back.

She looked at Robin. "Their coming…" she said, "Their coming. One is just around the corner. I can feel it."

Robin reached for his bird-a-rang, but it wasn't there.

"No weapons this time," said Timid, not even looking at Robin, "Nooooo weapons."

The air went icy cold and Robin looked at the hallway in front of him. It went black. But, it wasn't a normal black; it was the deepest, darkest, emptiest black he had ever seen.

"Raven…." he said slowly.

"Do you know what terror feels like, Robin?" she asked, looking at him. He didn't answer.

"Pure terror..." she paused, "is standing at the end of that corridor."

"Ladies first," he said.

She just stared at him. He moved forward. Step by step, he could feel the air get colder. Pretty soon, he could see his own breath. His steps echoed in the hallway. He looked back at Raven.

"Go," she said, "He will not harm you physically."

"What about mentally?"

She didn't answer. He gulped and continued moving. He got to the point where he was inside the darkness, but when he turned back to see Raven, she was gone.

"Raven!" he yelled, desperate to hear an answer, telling him he wasn't alone. The only answer he received was a scratching sound on the wall. He stopped, paralyzed with fear.

"Little Robin, come to play. Little birdie ready to play. No more man now. Just little birdie. Is little birdie afraid?"

* * *

Titan009-Dun dun DUUUUUUN! Okay, this is my first cliff hanger ever! EVER! Please review. I know it will be better next time! PLEASE REVIEW! I hope this was long enough too…. 


End file.
